SCREWING PURITY CULTURE

Written September 3rd, 2020

What is it? Why do we uphold it? And is it time to let it go?

Firstly- what is it? Purity culture, in a broad sense, is the idea that abstinence and ‘purity’ are the ideal and should be upheld. Though it is a religious ideal, it has pervaded into several societies, and now there doesn’t seem to be a demarcation. Although it is termed purity ‘culture,’ it is more akin to a lifestyle. It does not exist independently of our actions, dressing and perhaps most notably- our reputation. Because the more pure you are, the better you are received.

As with most cultures, we uphold it because we cannot remember a time that we did not. Throughout the course of my life, I’ve heard several arguments as to why we should continue to uphold it, some of which I will share with you. It was explained to me that, as a woman especially, there is an inextricable link between my purity and my self-worth. My body and personhood have been transformed into many an analogy. I am a stick of gum that must remain unchewed. I am a brand new car that must remain undriven. A rose that once crumpled can never be straightened out again. Put simply, the more I abstain the more desirable I am for a future husband. We will then raise a family together and I can impose the same ideals on my (female) children. I could address the double standard that exists in the way we think about abstinence in relation to men and women but that’s a whole other think piece. I will mention however, that I find it disingenuous to pretend as if we as a society view male and female abstinence in the same way (and impose it upon each gender in the same way).

Now finally- Is it time to let it go? If indeed I, like other women, were simply chewed up pieces of gum, second-hand cars and crushed roses then the answer would be an obvious no. The fact that we are not raises a new complication. I might offer other arguments, such as the fact that we should not uphold cultures we do not know the root of. Or that there should be a demarcation between religious and societal values. Or that the real inextricable link exists between purity culture and rape culture. However, to present these as my forefront arguments would be disingenuous. Because as I’ve said- women are not objects. That is my forefront argument. Unfortunately, purity culture does not recognize this. It exists based on the continuous objectification, traumatization and disregard of female humanity.

Which is not to say do not abstain. It is more to say- do not tie identity, self worth and value into your abstinence or lack thereof. The whole point of this is to remind anyone who needs to hear it that they deserve to choose. That they belong to themselves and they always will. So think of these analogies instead. Your body isn’t a chewed up piece of gum- it’s the entire store. How then can you place your value in a single stick? Your body may be a car, but you are the sole driver and whoever else you let or don’t let into the passenger seat is your decision. Your body is not a rose- it’s a garden. You tend to it and watch it grow. And yes terrible things could happen, flowers could be trampled on. But best believe that for every crushed rose- ten will bloom in its place.